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15 September 2010 @ 07:46 pm
The Midweek Chatty Patron stopped by.
“You know what really frightens me?” She asked.
“Cannibal clowns?” I replied.
“No, super lice.”
“Lice from Krypton? I can see how that can be worrisome. Curse earth’s yellow sun!”
“A library in Florida had to close to have them exterminated!”
“If we had Library Monkeys, Super Lice wouldn’t be a problem, they’d be a snack.” Note to self: Write a grant for Library Monkeys.
“Apparently they’ve evolved.” She added.
“Did evolution give them a taste for man-flesh? That be cause for alarm or a SyFy movie.”
“Where did they come from?”
“A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, but I can check.” An actual reference question!
“No, it’s okay. In New York it’s gotten so bad in some apartments they created a ray that irradiates them.”
“Radiation sounds like a bad idea. Should they mutate we’d have to summon Godzilla to fight them.” Or King Kong. He’d probably eat the Super Mutant Lice.
“Always something to worry about! Night!”
How... cheerful.
25 June 2010 @ 05:25 pm
X-Posted from
(Hint Go Follow, there will be new stuff frequently!)

Friday afternoon my boss asked me to swing by his office so we could optimize some of the network access for the databases.
"This should be easy." He said.
"Making changes to the network on a Friday afternoon angers the Great IT Spirit."
"Ha, but it's a quick fix."
5 minutes later a port on the router blows.
My prophecy had come true, all hail the IT shaman
31 March 2010 @ 11:14 am

Is LJ still viable or should I move permanently over to: Blogspot?
"It's rather musty in here." I said.
"The smell is from the cadavers upstairs."
"Haha. You're putting on the new guy"
"No really, they're stored in the room above us and it's what causes the smell."
22 March 2010 @ 09:34 pm
I am a librarian sitting in a library eating a banana while reading a book set in a library where the librarian is eating a banana. The librarian in the book is also a Monkey.
Terry Pratchett may be spying on me.
05 February 2010 @ 08:09 pm
A conversation I had with my mother yesterday.

"A package arrived at our house for you." She said.
"Is it a monkey with a howitzer?"
07 December 2009 @ 09:59 pm
I hate being unemployed.
29 October 2009 @ 09:20 pm
Been a while.

Got married.

Work two jobs.
Hope to start writing more.

21 September 2009 @ 09:00 pm
Worst Idea for a video game ever: Leonard Cohen Rockband
19 August 2009 @ 03:39 pm
It's not that I have anything against it but it's the sound effects of breastfeeding next to me.

Maybe I'm just jealous I don't have a boob in my mouth....
19 August 2009 @ 03:35 pm
Look, if I'm fixing your fraking computer the least you can do is not breastfeed while I'm doing it.
I've nothing against it, but for frak-sake, I'm in my office working.

Ugh.... seriously, wtf?